Articles - ArticlesBack to part I...
Back to part II...
*Its an extremely hot day and the airconditioning at FC is broken. The sun is shining from a perfect blue sky and there is no wind. A programmer named Georg is sitting infront of his computer, just like all the others*
*He is sitting with his back against the window and the sun is shining in, straight at his backside, generating alot of heat and stress*
Georg: "Oh, ffs."
*He gets up to open the window and let in some air. The perfectly calm air outside is just as hot as the air inside the building so opening the window didnt help at all.*
*Georg wipes sweat off his head and rubs his burning eyes*
Keyboards: *clickClick-click-Clickclick Click CLick, click-Click, Click click, click!!, Click!!! CLICK! CLICK!!-CLICK!!!!*
*George's pulse is slowly going up. Everything seems to produce stress. The heat, the buzzing sounds from the computers, the clicking-sound from all the keyboards, Lisa chewing on her bubblegum, the sun on his back, todays deadline..*
Keyboards: "CLICK, CLICK-CLICK!"
*Pulse going up*
Lisa: *chew chew POP! chew-chew-chew-chew*
*sweat running down his cheak*
*Everyone looks at Georg*
Programmer 7: "Dude calm down!"
*Georg turns towards Programmer 7*
Programmer 7: O.O (!)
*Georg takes a firm grip of his keyboard and starts running towards the poor programmer*
Programmer 7: "Heeelp!"
*Nobody seems to do anything yet, they are all just watching*
*The programmer is on the floor and Georg is hitting him in the side with the keyboard*
Programmer 7: "Dude! Stop it!"
Georg: "No way, I can actually feel wind on my face when Im smacking you, ITS REFRESHING!"
*Now everyone runs towards the fight and drags Georg off the programmer*
Marius: /s "Guys, I worn you.."
*Everyone stops with what they are doing and looks at Marius*
Marius: "Its friggin hot and Im all out of pills.."
*Tier armour dev comes walking up towards Marius from behind*
Dev: "..um Marius.. could you come here a sec? I think I broke the main printer. Didnt say anything about it not being able to handle cardboardpaper in the manual.."
Marius: "YOU /(#"#¤=#!!"
*Marius takes a good grip around the devs throat*
Dev: "Hess eeerk!"
*Marius wont let go of the dev, the programmers are watching and they dont stop him since he's the boss and everything, Lisa is chewing gum and twiddeling her hair, Georg is at it again with his keyboard and Programmer number 7 is doing his best to defend himself with his pen*
Dev: "EEek! Aarr!"
*The dev spots a calculator laying on the table next to him and he struggles to reach it*
*He finally reaches it and wacks it straight in Marius' left ear. Marius lets go and the dev quickly tackles him so they both tumble over one of the desks*
*Two programmers are sitting way in the back corner watching the chaos*
Programmer 11: "This is cool."
Programmer 6: "5 bucks on the dev."
Programmer 11: "k"
*By now all the other programmers are fighting each other as well. Its like some bad western movie where everyone is fighting at the local bar*
Marius: "I win!"
*Marius is up on his feet pointing a staple gun at the dev*
Dev: "Dont shoot!"
Marius: "Hah, I've been dreaming of stapling you since forever! Im a good shot so dont try anything heroic."
*Marius is about to pull the staple-trigger, Programmer 6 is about to pay programmer 11, Programmer 7 is about to jam his pen into George's left foot.*
*The aircondition just turned back on and cold fresh air is flowing into the building. Everyone stops dead in their tracks and looks up as the cool air hits their faces*
*Tier armour dev is sitting in his office, daydreaming about how to get even with Marius. A small bandaid is hiding two small red marks just above his right knee where the staple hit. He's half asleep and his right hand moves slightly as he imagines stapling Marius to the floor and wacking him with his own nerf-stick.*
*Timelapse is standing in the doorway, wearing a green ranger-looking outfit.*
Timelapse: "Greetings. We have recieved reports of a monster in the basement and we would like your assistance to defeat it. Our success will be greatly rewarded with riches and honor. Will you help us?quot;
*The dev feels a strange urge to say yes."
Dev: "Yes, Timelapse. I will accompany you on this dangerous quest."
*The dev gets out of his chair and walks out into the hallway. Server Meintenance Dude (SMD) is standing by Timelapse wearing a black cape. The black hood covers most of his face but the eyepatch is a dead giveaway. SMD is holding a bow and he has some arrows strapped to his back*
SMD: "Yarr, glad to have ye onboard, laddy!"
Timelapse: "You look like a man capable of wielding swords. I have one extra broadsword you may borrow. Will you take this weapon?quot;
Dev: "You know me well, ranger."
*Timelapse hands the dev a big sword*
Timelapse: "We must hurry. Take with you anything you need but be swift for we need to find more men for our quest."
*The dev takes a quick look through the stuff in his office and desides to take with him his lunchbox, staple gun and his magic eightball. All 3 of them walk down the hallway and into the big room where all the programmers sit. For some reason all the programmers are wearing old-looking, medievil clothes. All the desks have been replaced with booths where some of the programmers seem to be selling vegetables, clothes, rings and other items you would expect to find in a market. The dev know deep inside of him that this is really wierd but somehow it feels so natural at the same time. Its a feeling thats hard to describe.*
Timelapse: /s "We seek aid on our quest to defeat a monster in the basement. Step forward is you feel brave and strong enough. Healer or a tank would be nice.."
*All the programmers stand still and most pretend that they didnt hear what Timelapse said and continue with their conversations and marketing activeties*
SMD: "Yarr.. dissapointing to be sure."
Tim: "I will help you!"
*This tiny programmer named Tim, wearing a colorfull robe and holding a stick steps out of the crowd.*
Timelapse: "And who are you? What can you do to help us?quot;
Tim: "Im a warlock. I have powerfull spells that will obliviate even the toughest foe!"
Timelapse: "That sounds great. You may join us on our noble quest."
*The four of them walk down the stairs to first floor where they run into Lisa from public relations.*
Lisa: "Heya!! Where are you boys going?quot;
*She is wearing a green and blue dress and for some reason she is holding a morning star in her left hand. Her ears seem longer than usual. She looks like an elf. A gum-chewing elf.*
Timelapse: "We are on a noble quest to slay the faul monster which lives in the basement. Would you like to join us?quot;
Lisa: "Sure! Im a druid so I can heal some if you need. Tihihihi!*
Dev: "Wohoo, a healer!"
*The five of them make their way down the stairs to the basement. The air gets more and more damp as they progress downwards and its close to pitch black as they reach the end of the stairs. The walls are nolonger wood and concrete but rather a rugged cave made of stone.*
*Grrrrrrrrrr.... Grrrrrrrrr..... GRRRRRRR"
SMD: "Yarr, that sounds like trouble."
*Lisa is standing behind Timelapse, holding his green shirt really tight.*
Timelapse: "Its the monster. We are very close!"
Dev: "Get ready!"
Timelapse: "Wait, we need a tactic. This isnt just any monster. This is a lag-monster and it has the ability to change position in the blink of an eye. It can leap betwean dimentions to trick us. It allso has 3 long tentacles stretching out of its body. Its only weak spot is at the center of its body where the actual head is. Strike there, dont waste your time with the tentacles. They grow out again."
Timelapse: "We must find a way to get past its tentacles to strike the head."
*They all run into a huge room at the end of the rocky passage and they all stand face to face with the huge ugly lag-monster. Its surrounded by something which appears to be tiny creatures made of stone.*
Timelapse: "Pull the stones first! We cant handle them all at once."
*SMD takes an arrow out of the container on his back and shoots it at the closest stone-creatures. Two of them is running towards the party.*
SMD: "Yarr, great pull to be sure!"
*The stones take a U-turn and now run back past the other stones only to make yet another U-turn back towards the party and now all the other stones follow.*
SMD: "Son of a wench.."
*They fight for their lives and the stones die one by one. The dev is swinging his broadsword like a true hero.*
Tim: "Behold my awsome powers!"
*Tim is casting spells that seem to expand on inpact and the stone-creatures fall like flies.*
Lisa: "Wopsie dasie! Thihihi."
*A allmost perfectly timed heal from Lisa makes it to SMD a split second to late and he falls over.*
Timelapse: "Be careful, we need as many as possible for the lag-monster!"
*The last stone-creature falls over. Its completely silent except from the heavy breathing of the lag-monster from across the room.*
Timelapse: "Get ready! The lag-monster is attacking!"
*The huge and ugly lag-monster is moving towards them, waving its tentacles in their general direction.*
Tim: "Stand back. I will defeat it!"
Timelapse: "No! Get back, remember the tact.."
*Tim is waving his hands to create his powerfull spells but nothing seems to happen.*
Tim: "Damnit! My spells wont land!"
*One of the tentacles takes a firm yet squishy grip of Tim and shakes him violently high in the air.*
*Timelapse run towards the lag-monster and the Dev and Lisa is right behind him. SMD is dead.*
*Timelapse is waving his sword at the tentacles in order to make his way past them. The lag-monster suddenly warps a few feet back and Timelapse finds himself in the middle of tentacle-hell once again. One of the tentacles picks him up and tries to squeese the life out of him 10 meters above the ground.*
*The dev is waving his sword but the last tentacle is keeping him at bay. There seems to be no way to get past it. A sudden slap from the tentacle makes the dev drop his sword. It slides across the room behind the lag-monster. Lisa casts a healing-spell on Tim who is still being shaken like a ragdoll and this instantly aggros the last tentacle. It picks her up.*
Lisa: /s "Eeeeek!!! Ewwww! Heeeeelp!!!"
*The dev is standing there with no weapon and his party is slowly but surely getting ripped appart. As the third tentacle raises Lisa high into the air it reveals the face of Marius on the body of this horrible monster. In an act that feels like pure instinct, the dev takes out his staple-gun and aims for the face. The tentacles are waving all over the place and its hard to get a clean shot. He waits.. waits.. FIRES!*
Dev: /s "Death to the lag-monster!!"
Marius: /s "Wake up!!"
*The dev opens his eyes and looks around. He is sitting at his desk and Marius is standing in the room holding his nerf-stick*
Dev: "Err.. um.. what?quot;
*Tier armour dev is running down the corridor screaming and Cz is not far behind.*
Cz: "Stop! Im not going to hurt you!"
Dev: "Yeah, right!"
Cz: "Dammit.. Give back my cellphone!!"
*The dev runs into the elevator and quickly presses a random button. The doors slowly closes as Cz comes ever closer*
Dev: /s "Hello? Is this Hong Kong?quot;
*The doors closes just as Cz reaches them and he starts hammering on them with his hands*
Cz: "Come back! Im telling Marius."
*The elevator goes up and the dev is singing along with the elevator-music*
Dev: "Livin' lavida locaaa"
*Ding. The elevator stops at the very top floor. The dev has never been here before and he peeks out the door to see if there is a mad Cz waiting for him. No Cz so he steps out*
*This floor is huge. Its one big room on the size of a football-field. Hundreds of people are sitting at each their computer and there is a tension in the air so thick that you could cut it with a knife.*
Stressed out guy: "WhaddaYaWant!?!?quot;
*The dev jumps up into the air as some dude with a sweat-stained white shirt complete with a half-opened tie, blood-shot eyes and mad-scientist-hair comes up from behind.*
Stressed out guy: "Don'HaveAllDay-WhaddaYaWant!?!?!"
Dev: "Err-Um, Just looking."
Stressed out guy: "ThenWhyDin'YouSaySo-Don'haveTimeForChitChat!!"
*The stressed out guy runs down into the computer jungle. Just out of pure curiosity the dev follows.*
Speaker: "Security to sector 37-B. We have a P.O."
*Everyone seems extremely bussy. Eyes wide opened and constantly typing something. Except one. He's sitting close to the middle of this gigantic room with his feet on his desk.*
Dev: "Excuse me.. What is this place?quot;
*The lazy guy takes his sweet time to turn towards the dev. He finally makes eyecontact.*
Dev: "What is this place? What are you guys doing here?quot;
*Harry turns towards his computer again and pressed the mouse button. Then he turns back towards the dev.*
Harry: "You dont know? Where have you been the last year?quot;
Dev: "Um.. bussy working downstairs.."
Harry: "Well, basicly all this coding on command either to please player-needs or to fix old bugs just ended with alot of frustration since things just got worse and worse so they desided to do everything manually."
Harry: "Yeah, making codes for weather-effects, spawnrate, damage-calculation, zoning, Mob and pet pathing and even postcount on forum proved to be way to hard so we do all these things manually now. We're 345 GM's up here now."
Dev: "And what do you do?quot;
Harry: "Im the droprate guy"
Speaker: "Security to sector 12-A. We have a P.O."
Dev: "Whats a P.O.?quot;
Harry: "Stands for Pass Out. Some people cant handle the pressure down here. There's not enough people to enable shifts so we never get time off other than when the servers are down for patch. There's so many of us that FC cant afford fast computers. Many go crazy and has to be taken away because their computers keep crashing. All stress and no sleep makes GM a crazy-boy."
Dev: "You seem to be doing ok..?quot;
Harry: "Well, you cant survive here unless you calm down and realise that you cant do everyth.. hehe.. look.."
*Harry points at the guy sitting to his right. It looks like he's about to explode*
Harry: /w "Thats the guy in charge of zoning. He has to monitor absolutely every player there is and serve them the right zone as needed. On all 3 servers."
Dev: /w "Area change not initiated on server?quot;
Harry: "Yup, thats him."
*The zone-guy stands up and shouts at the screen*
Zone guy: /s "Friggin zone-hugging-PvP'ers!! Stop zoning!!!!!!!"
*The zone-guy falls over backwards*
Speaker: "Security to sector 19-C. We have a P.O."
Harry: "Dude, your cellphone is ringing."
*The dev looks at Cz's cellphone and desides to answer it. He presses the green phone-symbol.*
Dev: "Um.. This is Cz's phonemachine. Im bussy right now cause Im probably doing something really stupid."
Cz (on the phone): "Look behind you."
*The dev turns around and Cz is standing right there.*
Dev: "Oh crap!"
*Cz is just about to grab the dev but he's fast and starts to run in a very general direction. Cz is close behind.*
Cz: "Could you just give me my phone you retard!?quot;
*The dev turns his head back to see if Cz is closing in on him. He trips over some wide cable lying on the ground and the entire room goes completely dark and silent.*
Cz: "Great, you just cut the power dumbass."
*Cz grabs the phone from the dev*
Cz: "Put the cable back in."
Dev: "I cant find it. I cant see anything."
*The silence is broken as 344 stressed out GM's starts to shout and cry.*
Cz: "Oh and btw.."
Speaker: "Security to sector 14-A. We have a K.O."
*Its 03:17. FC headquarters lay dark and silent as everyone is home asleep. Allmost everyone that is. A ladder is silently placed by the window to the Tier armour dev's office. A spesific someone forgot to shut the window before leaving and its now being taken advantage of by a thief. This man dressed in black complete with a black hood climbs up the ladder and gets in through the window.*
Thief: /w "Bingo"
*The office is dark and the thief trips over a stack of Marvel superhero comics.*
*Convinced that there's nobody there that might have heard him, he gets up and opens the door to the hallway. Its dark but he can see computers in all the offices and loads of other goodies to grab. He makes his way down towards the main entrance to open it so he can start carrying computers outside to his van.*
*The main entrance is now open. The sound of the lock opening echoes in the big entry-hall. He makes his way back up to second floor. As he passes a door with the tag "Servers" on it he can hear music. Startled by the fact that someone is still in the building he looks around for a quick escape. Suddenly the door opens.*
SMD: "YYYYMCA!! daaadadadada YYYYMCAAA!!! EEEEEEK!!!
*A completely naked server maintenance dude, except from the pirate hat and eyepatch, is standing face to face with the thief and they both scream on the top of their lungs. For different reasons.*
Thief: "What the hell!?quot;
*SMD covers his private parts with his hat. He's to shocked to realise that this is a thief.*
SMD: "Crap, I thought I was alone!!"
*The thief panics and starts running to the tier-armour devs office to escape. He forgot where it was and in all the confusion and darknes he gets lost in the office-landscape.*
Alarm: "RRRRING RRRRRRRRING!!!!!"
*SMD is trying to get back into the servers-room but the door had closed and locked itself from the inside. SMD is about to press in the security code to open the door when the main entrance suddenly slams open and loads of cops storms the building.*
SMD: "Come on! Come on!!"
*SMD has exactly 13 seconds to type in the 6 letter code before the cops get to his floor. He's so nervous and his hands are shaking badly so he presses the wrong combination 3 times and the number-pad stops working.*
Marius: "A thief?quot;
*Marius is in his office and on the other side of his desk sits a policeofficer*
Officer: "Yes, he was running around trying to escape or something. He didnt manage to steal anything before we got there so we're booking him for breaking an entry, not for theft."
Marius: "I see. Thank you officer."
Officer: "Oh, and another thing.."
Officer: "Why was one of your staffmembers running around in here naked?quot;
Marius: "What now!?quot;
Officer: "Nevermind. Its not elegal so.. anyway.. have a nice day! :)"
Marius: "Wait wtf!"
Officer: "Its ok, sir. We dont judge you we just maintain law and order :)"
*Askiles sits by his computer and tries to log onto AO*
Login-handler: "Dimension: Atlantean (Rubi-Ka 1)(Down)"
Askiles: "Bah, somone spilt cofe on the servr agan :p"
*That very moment in the server-room at FC HQ*
SMD: "Yarr, damnit.."
*SMD wipes coffee off the table, keyboard and the server.*
SMD: "Scurfy coffee. Cant live with it cant keep me eyes open without it."
SMD: "Yarr, enter."
*Marius comes in the door*
SMD: "Err, what?quot;
Marius: "I was just wondering WHY your getting the sack today, thats all."
SMD: "Yarr.. me had a wee little accident. I will fix it in no time."
Marius: "You know.. the server has been down 3 times this week for more than an hour at a time, the chatserver has been down twice and the.. hey.. HEY! IS THAT COFFEE!?quot;
*Server makes a fizzle sound and then a BOOM followed by a bright flash and some smoke for added special effect*
SMD: "Yarr.. no..?quot;
*Marius' left eye is jumping around and the overall status of the situation would be classified as "unsafe"*
Marius: "Get out! Your fired as of this instant! There is nothing.."
Marius: " ..you can say that will help you after this. That server is worth more to us than.."
SMD: "Who will fix the server if I have to leave? Im the only one who knows how.."
*Marius is about to reply with something but he stops and he's obviously thinking hard and trying not to explode at the same time.*
Marius: "Ok... ok.. Fix the server and then you leave."
SMD: "Ok .. :("
*Marius is halfway out the door when..*
*SMD rips his pirate-hat and eyepatch off and walks up to Marius. His hearth is pounding. He has never stood up against anyone before.*
SMD: "If Im fired and have to leave after I fix the server then there is no reason for me to fix it now IS THERE!?quot;
SMD: "Supposed I just walk out of here right now and leave you to figure out what to do with a broken server and 5000 psycho players? How would you like THAT!? I have been sitting in this room for 4 years now doing nothing but keeping an eye on this god damn server, my eyes burn, my head hurts, I've lost 10 pounds of muscles, gained 20 pounds of fat, lost over 500 nights of sleep and if I want to take a damn cup of coffee then I WILL TAKE A DAMN CUP OF STINKING COFFEE!!"
*SMD puts his pirate-hat and eyepatch back on*
Marius: "..um.. just hurry up and fix it.. allright?quot;
SMD: "Yes captain!"
*Marius walks out slowly and closes the door*
*Znore walks into the office landscape wearing a pimp robe, cowboyhat, walkingstick with the words "luv-stick" ingraved on the handle and a really slick grin on his face.*
Znore: "Sup bitches? :p"
*None of the devs respond to his insulting greeting.*
Dev 19: /w "Pfft, that guy was sitting right here next to me being all friendly-like for several years. Now that he won the director-raffle after Marius left he's turned into such a bastard."
Dev 13: /w "Yeah, now he thinks he's like.. mister Bigshot or something. Dont care about us anymore."
*Znore sits down in his office which has been repainted and refurnished. He takes off his cowboyhat and puts his feet up on the table. A dev knocks on the door.*
*This really skinny dev with thick black glasses slowly walks into the room and stays close to the door.*
Znore: "Whats up?quot;
Dev 6: "Oh, I was just wondering, I have these ideas on Trader shotguns. I was wondering if I could get permission to work on these ideas? I mean, I understand if not.."
Znore: "Hey, go for it. :p"
Dev 6: "Oh, thank you. Thank you so much! ..Um.. while on the subject, I have some ideas for NT's too.."
Znore: "Dont stretch it."
Dev 6: "Sorry, Im sorry."
*The dev walks back out again and Znore takes off his pimp robe*
Znore: "My, its hot in here!"
*Znore reaches for the intercom*
Znore: "Lisa? Lisa..?quot;
Lisa on Intercom: "Yes?quot;
Znore: "Could you get me something cold to drink please."
Lisa: "..Im in public relations.."
Znore: "Ok, ok, tell one of the GM's to get me a soda then."
*Znore turns off the intercom and is just about to put his feet back on the desk when..*
Dev 19: /s "Heeeeeeeelp!!"
Dev 13: /s "What did you do!?quot;
*Znore runs out into the office-landscape and spots a bunch of devs circling a computer.*
Znore: "Whats going on?quot;
*The devs dont want Znore to talk to them but they are to stressed to care.*
Dev 19: "I just managed to delete the entire player-shop code. Its gone! There was no backup! We're gonna get fired over this!"
Dev 13: "And our private investor for the AI-expansion is comming here right now to check up on the progress. We where trying to make the whole thing ready for him to see but it got delete it by a mistake!"
Investor: "Delete what by mistake?!"
*Some guy in an italian suit and cigar is suddenly standing right next to them looking fairly startled.*
Dev 19: "We where making the presentation ready for you because we knew you where comming here today but.."
*Znore looks at the devs.. Then he looks at the investor in his fancy suit and smelly cigar. Then he looks at the devs again.*
Znore: "..I managed to delete the code.."
*The devs and the investor are all looking at Znore*
Znore: ".. It was my fault, but we have a backup so its no problem. You just cannot see the presentation today thats all."
Investor: "Hmrph.. Well, just make sure you get it ready in time. You wouldnt want to upset me by ruining something Im paying for now would you? I will be back later.."
*The investor walks away*
Dev 13: "But.. we dont have a backup Znore."
Znore: "I know.. I know :)"
Dev 19: "Znore, your back! I knew you wouldnt let us down!"
*Dev 13 and 19 performs a grouphug on Znore*
Znore: "Ok, ok get off me and hurry up creating that code! ;)"
*Znore walks towards his office again and meets Tier armour dev outside his door*
Dev: "Ooh! Znore! I have this great idea for alien-armour in the new playfield. Im thinking Marvel Comic superheroes and.. and.."
Znore: "..Go for it ;)"
*Znore is in his office doing alot of paperwork. The intercom on his desk starts making some scratching noises*
Intercom: Dev19: "Hey Znore, if the founder of Macintosh was homosexual and from Scottland, what would the name of the company be today?quot;
*Znore looks at the intercom*
Intercom: Znore: "..what?quot;
Intercom: Dev19: "If the founder of Macintosh was homosexual and came from Scottland, what would the name of the company be today?quot;
Intercom: Dev19: "Macintush!"
*Znore gets up, rips the intercom-wire from the wall and goes out into the hallway. He can hear alot of noice comming from the left hand office landscape*
Devs: "Happy birthday to youuuu!"
Devs: "Happy birthday to youuuuuu!"
Devs: "Happy birthday dear.. server maintenance duuuude. Happy birthday to youuuu"
*Everybody claps and SMD tries to blow out the lights on the pirate-themed cake but none of then die out.*
Dev: "Yarr, I have no depth-perception with me eyepatch."
*He lifts the eyepatch slightly and gives it another go. All the lights go out*
Dev14: "What did you wish for? :D"
SMD: "That be a secret! Or it will not come true."
Znore: "Its your birthday today?quot;
SMD: "Yarr, 42 years old and going steady like a battleship."
Znore: "Well, congratulations! Not to be a partypooper or anything but we really need to get those playershops up and running so we can release this patch allready."
*The devs slowly walk back to their posts and SMD takes his cake back into the server room. Znore goes back to his office*
Znore: "Guess I will finish that paperwork"
*He sits down and presses the intercom-button*
Znore: "Hello? Can someone bring me a coffee please?quot;
*Nothing happens. He spots the ripped out wire on the floor and remembers the anger-management-seminar he was forced to attent back in 1987.*
Znore: /w "Frikkin waste of time"
*A dev is standing in the door.*
Dev8: "There's a problem with the servers!"
*The both walk down to the server room and find SMD sitting on the floor crying and there's cake all over the server*
SMD: "I tripped on a wire and the cake landed on the server!"
Launcher:Silirrion: "Servers are taken down for a.. server database upgrade.. yeah.. and they will probably be down for like 5 hours or something. This was a schedualled, I swear! Sorry for any trouble this might cause you."
*Flashback to the time just before shadowlands. The key staff at FC's is sitting in the meeting-room*
Gaute: "The zones in Shadowlands is allmost complete and so we need to create the items and mobs. We can start with the names first. The dev in charge of this area is Bob. Any plans so far Bob?quot;
*Everyone looks at Bob who is sitting in the middle at the right hand side of the long mafia-looking table. He has a complicated metal-device in his mouth that is forcing his jaws open. He broke his jaw in a coding-accident and this device is supposedly making sure the bones heal correctly.*
Bob: "..Ea. I ok onh lanch."
Gaute: "..What did he say?quot;
Tier-dev: "I think he said "Yeah, I got some plans."
*Bob nods his head and some saliva runs down his cheek and drips onto the table*
Gaute: "Right, ok, good. Go ahead."
*Bob shakes his head*
*Gaute writes down Mudurlugu in his papers and turns to Bob*
Gaute: "Is this a mob, weapon or other?quot;
Gaute: "Ok, hold your right hand up if its a weapon, hold your left hand up if its a mob and tilt your head if its 'other'."
*Bob hold his right hand up*
Gaute: "Ok, and the next item is what?quot;
*Bob holds his left hand up*
SMD: "Yarr, this be like that mime-game."
Bob: "Gilchtarh. Kyr ozch sancrosanch wyrm."
Gaute: "Ok, this is stupid, I give up. Im sorry but I cant understand a word you're saying!"
Znore: "How about you give him a pen and a piece of paper?quot;
Gaute: "Oh yeah, good idea."
*Gaute hands over a piece of paper to Bob. He writes something on it and gives it back to Gaute*
Gaute: "Lets see here."
Piece of paper: "I NEED TO GO TO THE TOILET!!!!"
Gaute: "Oh! Sorry, you can go."
*Bob makes his way out of the room*
Gaute: "Well, I guess we can just end the meeting and get started on the coding. We can start with the quests and layout now that we have begun with the items and mobs. Make sure I see everything you create. I want to make sure there will be no camping in shadowlands!"
*Fast forward to current time*
Gaute's wife: "Turn off the computer, dear. The dinner is ready."
Gaute: "Give me a few min. I have killed this inferno boss 117 times. I feel 118 is the magic number!"
Gaute's wife: "You have been glued to that screen for a solid year!"
Gaute: "Well ofcource I have. First I had to get inferno ring and hhab and 45k+ faction and then I had to kill hecklers at the brinkt until I became 220 which according to my calculator is 170000 of them and then I had to kill aliens and at this rate I will become AI 30 sometime in the spring 2 years from now and.."
Gaute: "Hey what are you doing!?quot;
*The monitor has a hammer firmly wedged into the back*
Gaute's wife: "The food is getting cold."
Gaute: "Yes dear.."
Article written by Wrangeline
Do you have questions about this article or found an error? No comments yet - Please login first to post a comment.